


Lie Back And Think Of England

by teyla



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Aliens Made Them Do It, Dubious Consent, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-21
Updated: 2010-11-21
Packaged: 2017-10-13 07:56:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/134942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teyla/pseuds/teyla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor and Rory find themselves locked up in a cell, with Amy's safety at stake and only one way out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lie Back And Think Of England

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for _extremely_ awkward sex, consent issues (that don't get dealt with), and general bizarre-ness. Un-beta'ed, as it was written as commentfic in response to a prompt.

"You're not serious." Rory stared at the Doctor, who looked up from the lock of the cell door that he'd been attempting to sonic.

"Serious? Of course I'm serious; do I not look serious to you? It's wood." He straightened up and knocked on the admittedly quite wooden door. "The screwdriver doesn't do wood, really, how many times do I have to tell you people?"

"But-- we could--" Rory looked around, his eyes flitting over the bare cell walls. This place reminded him of the dungeons of Edinburgh Castle, which he'd gone to see on a school trip years ago. He hadn't liked them much then; he liked this place even less now. "D'you have any matches on you?"

"No, no matches, I don't have matches. What do you need matches for?"

"It's wood, isn't it?" Rory came up beside the Doctor and rapped his knuckles against the door as well. "We could burn it."

"With matches?" The Doctor was giving him that look that always made you feel like you'd suggested sieves make great fluid containers. "You'd need a flame thrower to get through that door. I thought you were supposed to be smart, Rory."

"I--"

"No, don't say anything; answering a comment like that always either leads to more stupidity or unpleasantness, and we haven't got time for either. No, I think we'll just have to do what they want."

"No." Rory stepped backwards and shook his head. "No, look, Doctor, I'm not--"

"It's really very simple; I'm sure you've done it before. You're engaged! It'd be kind of worrying if you hadn't done it before."

"But I--" Rory watched with rising terror as the Doctor shrugged off his tweed jacket. "I'm not _gay_ , Doctor!"

"Oh, gay, schmay, it's not like you have to _enjoy_ it." Snap, snap, the sound of the suspenders coming off. Rory found himself looking around the cell again, this time for a place to hide rather than a way out. "We snuck in here pretending to be a couple, now they want us to act like a couple. It's a couples resort!"

"Where they lock you up if you don't have sex?" He'd been against this plan from the beginning.

"The Mert people are nearly extinct, Rory. They're resorting to every measure to ensure their species' survival."

"But we're both male!" Rory grabbed his vest and pulled it more tightly around himself. "We can't--procreate."

"We're pretending to be Mert, remember? Really, not every species works like humans do; sex has nothing to do with Mert procreation." The Doctor interrupted his untying his bowtie and tilted his head. "Well, intercourse has. Sex hasn't." His eyes settled on Rory. "Aren't you going to get undressed?"

"No." Rory shook his head and tried to back away further, but bumped into the cell wall after only a couple of steps. "Please, just--put your clothes back on, Doctor."

"Rory, look." The Doctor sought out Rory's eyes and took a step towards him. Rory scuffled backwards a bit further. "They're not going to let us out of here unless we do this, and they have Amy. I don't mean to scare you, but I don't think we should leave her with them for too long. The Mert _are_ resorting to every measure to ensure their species' survival."

It took a couple of moments for Rory to take that in. When he had, he felt a cold, tight feeling form at the pit of his stomach. "You mean they--"

"I _mean_ that we shouldn't leave her with them for too long."

Rory could feel his heart beat in his chest. There were a few moments' silence in the small cell; then, with a determined jerk of his shoulders, Rory shrugged out of his vest. "You could've told me that sooner."

"Oh, that did it? Finally." The Doctor smiled a bright smile and dropped his trousers.

He was wearing white cotton underpants. The same kind that Rory's dad wore. Rory quickly grabbed the seam of his t-shirt and pulled it over his head. "How does this work, then?"

"You're _engaged_ , Rory. You really shouldn't have to ask."

"I told you, Doctor, I'm not--"

"Yes, yes, you're not gay, you've said. Top or bottom?"

Rory stared. "Uh--"

"Top, then. Take off your trousers."

Ten minutes later saw Rory stripped down to his socks--he'd decided to keep them on, since the cold floor of this cell was anything but comfortable to stand on with bare feet--and the Doctor in just his shirt, bracing himself against the wall with both hands. Rory had two fingers up the Doctor's ass. It felt a bit like inseminating a cow had felt when he'd been allowed to try it as an intern with his village's vet.

"Is this--am I doing this right, Doctor?"

"Yes, yes, really, this isn't quantum physics. You can add a third finger now."

Rory bit his tongue, peering down at what he was doing, and carefully slipped a third finger in. "I'm not--I mean, if you want me to put my--put it in there, I'm not, you know. Hard."

The Doctor sighed. "You really aren't gay, are you?"

"No, I told you."

"Well, you're a grown man, Rory." There was an impatient note to the Doctor's tone. "I'm sure you know how to make it hard."

Rory did. He closed his eyes and put his free hand to work, trying to think of something sexy. Amy. Amy's legs. Long, pretty legs, far too pretty to belong to a girl who had settled for _him_ as her boyfriend. Amy's pretty legs, wrapped around him, her breasts firm and perky, with nipples just begging to be kissed and licked and nibbled on--Amy in her wedding dress. Wearing the ring he'd given her.

"It's hard now."

"Whenever you're ready, Rory."

Rory looked down at his hand half-buried in the Doctor's ass, and pumped his fist a bit harder. "Shouldn't we be using, you know. Protection?"

"Rory, I'm a Time Lord. You won't impregnate me, and they still need to invent the disease that I can catch or transmit. Will you please get on with it?"

"Right." Rory pulled his hand free and positioned himself. The familiar feeling below his stomach--usually, in situations like this, a pleasant tension waiting to culminate in orgasm--was making him feel a little sick. "Here goes."

It wasn't so bad once he was in. When he closed his eyes, it almost felt as if he were having sex with Amy. A bit tighter, and--a different smell. The Doctor smelled completely unlike Amy.

"Well, I sure hope I do. I'm not Amy; why would I smell like her?"

Rory froze in mid-motion. "How did you know--"

"Time Lords are telepaths." The Doctor sounded completely unconcerned by his current situation. Almost insultingly so, felt Rory. "If you broadcast your thoughts like that, of course I'm going to pick up on them."

"Sorry." Rory immediately tried to empty his mind. And found he couldn't. "What am I _supposed_ to think about, then?"

"Whatever you--not _that_!" The Doctor pushed backwards, and Rory almost lost his balance. "Cows, Rory? Really?"

"I'm sorry!" This wasn't going well at all. "You know how it is, someone says you're not supposed to think of something, and then of course you have to think of it anyway--"

"Just--think of England!" The Doctor's muscles clenched around him. "Scotland. _Amy_. Think of Amy, okay?"

"I'm trying!"

"Look, this isn't working. Can I do something?"

"Do something?" Rory's hands were starting to get rather sweaty; his grip on the Doctor's sides was slipping.

"It won't hurt. Hold still."

"Doctor, what are you--" His question was cut off when suddenly, his nerve endings exploded with sensation. Rory uttered a choked, breathless sound and came, his fingers digging hard into the Doctor's skin. His hips twitched forward, once, twice, and then the aftershocks wore off, leaving him trembling and out of breath.

"What the--" He took a deep breath. "What the hell was that?"

"That was me." Rory could have been mistaken, but he thought the Doctor sounded quite smug, of all things. "You can step back now."

"I can--oh. Right." Rory let go of the Doctor and stepped away, suddenly very conscious of the fact that he was naked save for a pair of white tennis socks with a big hole in the right heel. He watched the Doctor straighten up and turn around, and once again couldn't help his gaze dropping to the Doctor's crotch. "Ah. Will I--" He gestured somewhat helplessly. "I mean, do you have to, you know--"

"We're done, Rory." The Doctor looked around and grabbed his white cotton underpants from where he'd dropped them earlier. "You did well."

"I, um." Rory scratched the back of his neck. "Thanks. I guess."

Getting dressed took a lot less time than getting undressed had. Within minutes, Rory was adjusting his vest while the Doctor was tying his bowtie.

"Right." Rory straightened his t-shirt and eyed the door. "Shouldn't they be letting us out now?"

"Oh, they will." The Doctor sounded perfectly cheerful. "They're coming down the hallway right now; I can hear them."

"Super-hearing, too, huh?"

"Super-hearing, super-vision; I'm a _Time Lord_ , Rory."

"Yeah." Rory looked down at his hands. "We're not telling Amy about this, are we?"

"Of course not! I just got you to stop with the jealousy; don't want to be starting that up again, do we?"

"Right, yes." Rory nodded, and looked up when he heard a set of keys being turned in the lock. "I'm sorry about, you know. The thing with the cows."

"Just don't do it again." The door swung open, and the Doctor gave the surly Mertian guard a wave before he gestured for Rory to exit. "On to new adventures, then, eh?"

Rory glanced at the Doctor before he nodded and passed by him through the door. "Yes. Adventures. Wouldn't want to miss out on those."


End file.
